Arrroooooo! Well-cum!

  I got my pilot license, and I'm flying right into your... Too soon? For some of you nitwit bastards, that is indeed too soon. And you sheeple probably won't feel welcome here. So I invite you to stick around, because I don't like you. And that means we should be friends.

  Anyway, what news is more relevant for a first post then the very manifestation of the best thing to have ever happened to you! Okay well, that threesome with so-and-so's sisters was probably pretty good too. But you get the point.

  So why am I here anyway? Basically, I'm doing you a favor. You get to get information you would get anywhere else, but without a dry and overly polite bullshit attitude you just know is being intentionally worked into static boredom to appease the author's boss-man-ass-face.

  And besides, if I'm lucky, I might rile you up a bit as well. Stay tuned mother fuckers.

-Arrrooo!