Body In Fresno County Vineyard; May He Rest Peacefully

  Tell me if you haven't heard this before...

  I'm not going to poke fun at someone who died or even the situation. That just isn't my style, that shit isn't funny it is sad and it will always be sad. It's just that Fresno is pretty good at killing its fellow Fresno cats. Really good... Maybe a little bit too good. Did you all get bathsalts?

  If you did get bathsalts and you so decide to get naked and jump me and eat me alive. I will be okay with this if you're cute and cuddle my corpse.

  Back to the story.

  The man's body was fund Tuesday morning which is roughly THIS MORNING (seriously mainstream media, you time stamped it...) while reportedly riding his bike. As someone who does that on a regular basis through orchards, I don't dig that.

  According to Bryan Carrillo (whoever the hell that is) "it was a surprise to know that somebody had actually perished out here in the vineyards and may have been out here for a couple of days or longer."

  This isn't actually all that hard to believe. We get so caught up in our daily routine of slave and fuck and drugs and pooping that we tend to forget that we are with other people. And some people get forgotten in the mess of it all. *looks in the mirror as a single tear drips*

  According to the man's (Rudy Gonzales) family he had a habit of vanishing for days at a time. That might have something to do with why it took so long for him to be found.

  As it stands there is no hard evidence of foul play. And I certainly hope that isn't the case, because no one deserves to die by the hands of another. It's just not right, this isn't war, this isn't revolution, this isn't breaking your way out of a Rob Zombie film, this is just living.

  Likewise investigators are still waiting to find out if Rudy had any significant medical history that may relate to his slumber.

  My sorries go out to anyone who cared for the man and the man himself. I don't normally like to report on individual deaths but sometimes media can treat it as just another scratch on the knee. But this was a living breathing human, and for that he is beautiful and should be treated as such, even in death.

                                                       

-Aaarrrooo!

Hidden Cash Fresno CA; Going Apeshit For Someone Elses Cash

  Well fuck me Freddy, you guys have finally done it. You have managed to get out of your house, onto the road, stir up traffic, and feel the air. So you can get someone elses cash. Do you see why I call you names now?

  It isn't all bad, the cash is being given away in a big game. And games are cool, and free stuff is cool and free money is cool too. But this is one of the only pro-positive articles I have seen hit the local market in, a long time (besides vets in wheelchairs rolling their wheelchairs to think about their dead friends). And that is not cool.

  We can come together as a populace, we know that. But the action isn't what is important. It is the reasoning behind it. And I'm glad you guys are out there having fun and from the bottom of my heart I wish I was out there with you. I really, really, do. But not because there is money floating around over at the park. NO. But because it is nice to be around people. But of course we don't do this on an everyday basis...

  Wait just a gosh darn minute!

  We do!

  Well you do, I don't because I live in nowhere land and rely on a peddle bike for transportation. But when I do get out there, you can bet it isn't because I want some green. In fact I'm probably spending (or willing to spend) to do so.

  But back to my point, a lot of you do. And I get that some of you are introverts and it isn't a pleasant experience. But if you're one of those introverted kitty cats and you went out there for some cash today it better go into feeding your fucking baby, or puppy, or yourself and it better be something healthy because fuck you, you're not introverted you're just a dick.

  To be fair, I fully understand how events like this can really get someone pumped up. I just wish you people would get just as pumped up to go give a homeless man 25 dollars and a bucket of fried fake chicken! If you ask me that is a hell of a lot better, and SURELY more important then going to find some hidden money like you're in a forest of arcade soda machines.

  And the news is at fault too, because they are making this an all day post-a-thon and this is as positive as they get: strangers causing traffic chasing money. And isn't that an everyday gig anyways? What is the difference? THE HYPE.

  Yep. Once again we fall victim to hype. But that's fine. Hell almost all of this is fine. If it wasn't so damned wrong, internally, from a social/political point of view. I mean, when you really start to analyze everything involved in this money grapple, it starts to look pretty fucking sick.

  Now if you want to pay me to forgive you, I will consider it.

                                    Okay seriously? This doggy had to piss in a bottle and become

                                        human just so he could get on the news and get money.

                                                                         For shame...


-Aaarrrooo!!!

Out of The Cave, Back In Your Face

Hey cats, it has been a while. I had to go through some shit before and I'm finally ready to get back in the game. But I am gonna do things A LITTLE differently then in the past. Seriously, like, super little. Cartman penis little. Because honestly, all I did before was give my opinion on things, those things just happen to be stories I stole from the local news stations (who suck ass hard and deserve it).

  The only real difference now is that I'm not going to JUST do that. Because fuck that, that is a limit. You know what limits are good for? Not getting laid. Yea...

  This time around, if I happen to want to write an article on why I think it is important to fall in love with the moon, touch the dirt, piss often and rub your spiritual butt-hole. I will, and I won't make any excuses to do so. So News From A Wolf isn't just news anymore. Suck it up and play along. And I promise this time to be a lot nicer to you, because I love you. And I only call you names because you don't touch me in my special spot anymore and I am lonely and I fucking hate you... WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, DON'T YOU LOVE ME STILL.... Sniffle...

  Okay whoops, back on track.

  So you're on board yes? Good, nice to remake your acquaintance. So make sure to let your shitty little friends know that their introverted world just got a little more intense, again. Then tell them I am sorry, give them a teddy bear and some wine, and get laid, and thank me later. See where I am going with this? We are working together here people!

  Here is a picture of something pretty to help get you pumped up for what is to come.

           

                                             Seriously though, this guys parents had some GOOD sex.|
                                                                And also he might be inbred.

- Arrrrooooooo! Bitches...


*UPDATE: I occasionally make spelling/grammar errors. My bad.