Body In Fresno County Vineyard; May He Rest Peacefully

  Tell me if you haven't heard this before...

  I'm not going to poke fun at someone who died or even the situation. That just isn't my style, that shit isn't funny it is sad and it will always be sad. It's just that Fresno is pretty good at killing its fellow Fresno cats. Really good... Maybe a little bit too good. Did you all get bathsalts?

  If you did get bathsalts and you so decide to get naked and jump me and eat me alive. I will be okay with this if you're cute and cuddle my corpse.

  Back to the story.

  The man's body was fund Tuesday morning which is roughly THIS MORNING (seriously mainstream media, you time stamped it...) while reportedly riding his bike. As someone who does that on a regular basis through orchards, I don't dig that.

  According to Bryan Carrillo (whoever the hell that is) "it was a surprise to know that somebody had actually perished out here in the vineyards and may have been out here for a couple of days or longer."

  This isn't actually all that hard to believe. We get so caught up in our daily routine of slave and fuck and drugs and pooping that we tend to forget that we are with other people. And some people get forgotten in the mess of it all. *looks in the mirror as a single tear drips*

  According to the man's (Rudy Gonzales) family he had a habit of vanishing for days at a time. That might have something to do with why it took so long for him to be found.

  As it stands there is no hard evidence of foul play. And I certainly hope that isn't the case, because no one deserves to die by the hands of another. It's just not right, this isn't war, this isn't revolution, this isn't breaking your way out of a Rob Zombie film, this is just living.

  Likewise investigators are still waiting to find out if Rudy had any significant medical history that may relate to his slumber.

  My sorries go out to anyone who cared for the man and the man himself. I don't normally like to report on individual deaths but sometimes media can treat it as just another scratch on the knee. But this was a living breathing human, and for that he is beautiful and should be treated as such, even in death.

                                                       

-Aaarrrooo!

Hidden Cash Fresno CA; Going Apeshit For Someone Elses Cash

  Well fuck me Freddy, you guys have finally done it. You have managed to get out of your house, onto the road, stir up traffic, and feel the air. So you can get someone elses cash. Do you see why I call you names now?

  It isn't all bad, the cash is being given away in a big game. And games are cool, and free stuff is cool and free money is cool too. But this is one of the only pro-positive articles I have seen hit the local market in, a long time (besides vets in wheelchairs rolling their wheelchairs to think about their dead friends). And that is not cool.

  We can come together as a populace, we know that. But the action isn't what is important. It is the reasoning behind it. And I'm glad you guys are out there having fun and from the bottom of my heart I wish I was out there with you. I really, really, do. But not because there is money floating around over at the park. NO. But because it is nice to be around people. But of course we don't do this on an everyday basis...

  Wait just a gosh darn minute!

  We do!

  Well you do, I don't because I live in nowhere land and rely on a peddle bike for transportation. But when I do get out there, you can bet it isn't because I want some green. In fact I'm probably spending (or willing to spend) to do so.

  But back to my point, a lot of you do. And I get that some of you are introverts and it isn't a pleasant experience. But if you're one of those introverted kitty cats and you went out there for some cash today it better go into feeding your fucking baby, or puppy, or yourself and it better be something healthy because fuck you, you're not introverted you're just a dick.

  To be fair, I fully understand how events like this can really get someone pumped up. I just wish you people would get just as pumped up to go give a homeless man 25 dollars and a bucket of fried fake chicken! If you ask me that is a hell of a lot better, and SURELY more important then going to find some hidden money like you're in a forest of arcade soda machines.

  And the news is at fault too, because they are making this an all day post-a-thon and this is as positive as they get: strangers causing traffic chasing money. And isn't that an everyday gig anyways? What is the difference? THE HYPE.

  Yep. Once again we fall victim to hype. But that's fine. Hell almost all of this is fine. If it wasn't so damned wrong, internally, from a social/political point of view. I mean, when you really start to analyze everything involved in this money grapple, it starts to look pretty fucking sick.

  Now if you want to pay me to forgive you, I will consider it.

                                    Okay seriously? This doggy had to piss in a bottle and become

                                        human just so he could get on the news and get money.

                                                                         For shame...


-Aaarrrooo!!!

Alien Photographed In Central Valley CA

  According to KMPH Fox 26 (yes, those bastards), a lady had submitted them information and a photograph regarding a supposed alien being caught on camera. The lady had taken a photo of a truck she claims she bought for her husband. Upon analyzing the photograph, she spotted what looks like our earth's favorite outer-earth species: They Grey.

The photograph in question.

  The lady (evidently, a name wasn't given) also claims to have attempted to contact NASA and that they had suggested the photo was not edited. KMPH said they had contacted the lady and NASA. While they have not received any information from NASA, they said that the lady stands by her claim.

  The photo itself looks like classic intermediate to SyFy level CGI. And frankly, I don't think think this is real. Especially considering how the creature seems to be both 2D and 3D. Most of the body looks like a reflection, while a small portion looks to be off of the car. It was suggested that the creature was floating. I do not buy that.

  I could be wrong though. I've seen my share of strange things in the sky within the last month in Clovis, California. No joke either, seriously weird shit. At one point a jet seemed to be chasing a fairly wobbly non blinking light that was faster then said jet. That really happened.


-Arrrooo!

Fruit And Veggie Fest? Bet Your Ass!

 Besides NFW, I am part of a few other projects. One of which is partnered with my lady-love (seen in the picture below, which I will probably get in trouble for as she doesn't know I'm posting it, or took it, yet) called Possibly Vegan. We cook shit, and do other things but mostly we cook the best food you will ever have. Needless to say, finding out that the very first Fruit and Veggie Fest in Madera CA (the same town we are chilling in, making this the first completely local News From A Wolf story!) was going down, we just had to go. And it was worth it!

  The location itself was pretty small, only taking up about what you'd expect a small empty store to look like but outside. It didn't need to be bigger though, and it was only the first. Personally, I loved it, and I'm willing to bet if it continues it will only get larger. The people weren't assholes, that's damned cool. Especially in the Central Valley, that's like finding a golden egg in a silver goose. 

  We were also granted the opportunity to watch some pretty talented little kids dance around (seen above) like the badasses they are! And trust me, these kids had some serious moves and it was a lot of fun to watch, despite one little girl seemingly wanting to destroy another little girl who got to close to their performing area.

  Another thing I really loved, was all the little bits of information found in free to pick up packets and cards and books and fucking awesome.... Before I climax, I should continue on...

  These little booths were a lot of fun, and the people running them were wonderful. One man even let me take a picture of his fat! Okay it's not his fat, but it could be someones *cough* McDonald *cough*

  As fun as the good people, good music, first time ever event, and lasting raffle (which we lost) was, one of the best things in life is free shit. And there was plenty of that to go around. Two bags full of badassery and even two tomato plants! One for each of us. Which is fucking awesome because the ones I'm growing aren't doing very well and it's making my heart suicide. So thank you Madera Fruit and Veggie Fest, for helping my heart not suicide.

FREE *DROOLS*

-Arrrooo!